Or Imagine yourself Magically Whisked away to Cleveland
October 13, 2007
One of the funniest little moments on 30 Rock last year involved Liz Lemon (Evanston’s own Tina Fey) and her boyfriend leaving New York City, New York for a romantic getaway to “The Forest City,” the Manchester of Mid-America, the Metropolis of the Western Reserve, Cleveland Ohio.
My own experiences in 
Cleveland are limited, and not quite as magical as Ms. Lemon’s. My most recent trip didn’t even merit a full post (said post does emphasize why I should not write music criticism, Cheap Trick not withstanding), my second to last visit was a 4 hour layover during a greyhound ride from New York to Chicago (though I had a terrific grilled cheese at the Cleveland bus terminal), and my only other trip to Cleveland took place about 10 years before the creation of this blog. I did really like the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, but it’s been eclipsed by the Seattle EMP in my mind, if only because of the monorail that runs through it. Still, fond childhood memories of the mid-90′s Indians (the best of the 90′s mini-dynasties that didn’t win The World Series), coupled with the Major League franchise do make me irrationally connected to Cleveland (Major League 3: Back to the Minors, with its ties to Minnesota, either never happened or will soon be aufheben by YS as the lost gem of family baseball movies).
But a funny thing happened recently to the mistake by the lake, something that shouldn’t go without notice. Cleveland was somehow named the top large transit agency in America. The award cites Cleveland’s expanded Downtown trolley service and an emphasis on customer service. I’m really not surprised by this development. Cleveland has a rather extensive metro system for a city of its size, with one heavy rail line and two light rail lines. Cleveland is well served by its transit agency, with (relatively) low traffic. According to a data set in this report on the Portland Light Rail system (YS: scouring the internet far and wide for data), Clevelanders lost only 10 hours to congestion in 2003 while their subway-less Cincinnati brethren lost 30. Of course Cleveland’s system would be totally insufficient for the Cleveland of 50 years ago, but such are the ironies of deindustrialization (see Season 2 of The Wire).
The report also cites Cleveland’s upcoming Bus Rapid Transit system, the Euclid Avenue Silver Line. While I support anything that gets people out of cars (like bike share programs, rickshaws, and the reintroduction of horses to city streets–a curse upon the dehorsifying New York!), I’m not particularly bullish on Bus Rapid Transit, mostly because the term is meaningless, describing a widely varying set of practices (I’m also suspicious of anything the Bush administration actively promotes, although my views on this may change if I can somehow figure out a way to get Yesterday’s Salad to qualify as a faith based initiative). Even better designed systems like the Eugene Oregon EmX have their critics and the most successful systems are too successful, indicative of the need for rail transit. This is not to mention the misfortune that befalls poorly planned systems. But, in my opinion, the biggest problem with BRT systems is their low passenger capacity. They may increase comfort and ease of use, but they don’t really offer much room for growth.
Planning a single BRT line is really planning for the city of today, and not the city of tomorrow. Metropolis, Illinois may claim to be the hometown of the Man of Steel, the Man of Tomorrow (what a segue!) but Superman was born in Cleveland, Ohio. Something tells me that our stable of Superman writers would look very different if Superman were “more powerful than a Silver Line bus,” and not “more powerful than a locomotive.”
Note to the Readers: Unlike this post, most transit columns are far more likely to be semi-controversial than they are semi-cogent. I was simply too astounded by Cleveland’s award not to comment.
Daily Potatoes?
April 2, 2007
In honour of Passover, and Dash’s gig roasting potatoes, the daily salad is being (temporarily) replaced with daily potatoes. Ah potatoes, full of starchy goodness! Actually potatoes are extra wonderful on Passover, when Potato Vodka is Dash’s number 3 source of drunken merriment behind only Manischewitz and Slivovitz (but only in its 70% alcohol variety).
As Senior Notwithabang…’s already posted today, and I’m being called to help prepare Matzo Balls, I’ll leave you with only two tidbits (and, sigh, no theory). The first: how baseball announcers make poetry. In today’s Phillies-Braves, the announcer bespoke this little ditty: “Langerhans/ he too/ 0 for 2.” Poetry in action…
And lastly, your friend and mine William Safire, who, believe it or not, is not the inspiration for our WOTD columns, had this choice piece in his column yesterday on the collocation “sweet spot”:
“It is used as an alternative to “soft spot” in “I have a sweet spot in my heart for him/her/it”; it is also mistakenly used in lieu of G-spot, supposedly an erogenous zone.”
Supposedly an erogenous zone? Why does William Safire doubt the existence of the G-Spot? A leading question, I know. But more importantly, why has he turned his column into an anti-Women’s orgasm bully pulpit? And people say we’re misogynistic.
(Different) 2008 Watch: Kerry vs. Schilling?
January 26, 2007
Curt Schilling, childhood hero of Dash Hammerskjold for his 2-0 win in Game 5 of the 1993 World Series (and not his Game 1 loss), and assassin of teammate Doug Glanville’s EverQuest avatar, 
is reportedly considering challenging former “The Electras” bassplayer John Kerry in the ’08 Massachussets Senate race.
VS.
I’m quite conflicted about who to support. My real problem is I’m not sure who the favourite is. We here are the salad are fans of longshot candidates, whether they be Joe Biden or Mary Carey, and I can’t tell whether or not Kerry is favored over the Schill. Sure, its hard to beat an incumbant, but if the Red Sox win a world series in the next two years, and if Schilling is a big part of the championship…
Schilling might have some problems with the Republican base. He’s conflicted over whether to vote for close personal friend McCain, or Barack Obama. But he does have a good platform: Schilling wants to fire everyone associated with the Big Dig.
Otherwise, his two biggest concerns are funding ALS research (through his foundation) and winning another World Series. Something tells me that with the ascent of the Royals, he may have a better chance at attaining that last goal as part of a legislative package than he does on the field.
once again, brett myers
January 8, 2007
I don’t do many baseball posts ’round here because the few that I did were amateurish and usually about Brett Myers. And, since my posts 1) precipitated his decline, and 2) precipitated the ugly mess in Boston, I determined that Yesterday’s Salad was nothing more than a drag on Mr. Myers budding star.
But after reading this article, I couldn’t resist not posting a few thoughts.
Mr. Myers finds himself in some pretty elite company. As you can see, Myers has the third highest strikeout rate of anyone with a reasonably high groundball percentage.
Francisco Liriano 55.33% 30.44% Carlos Zambrano 46.88% 22.90% Brett Myers 45.55% 22.69%
Both are strong indicators of further success, and looking at this graph suggests Mr. Myers is much closer to being an elite pitcher than I’d previously thought.
Superman fixes and Cleveland Rocks
July 5, 2006
Dibs and Alec both made song suggestions for the Superman list. I’ve never really gotten into the Flaming Lips, probably because I’ve read that so many bands are the greatest band ever that I’ve only started to listen to bands that everyone says are terrible. The Captain and Tenille haven’t let me down yet, so I’m going to stick to this one.
As for Dibs’ song…Our Lady Peace, Superman’s Dead. An absolute shonda on me for forgetting to include this song. I must have listened to this track every day in 8th grade (in fact my rail obsession probably has its genesis in the “the world’s a subway, subway,–RIDE” denouement), and it remains the best musical suggestion that Danny Stein made to me, the other being the Offspring album Ixnay on the Hombre. This song captures all the emotions that 1993′s epic storyline the Death of Superman failed to elicit. I really did sit and wonder Why-e-e-e-I Superman was dead, especially at the hands of a villain with absolutely no character development. Thankfully, the subsequent storylines, World Without a Superman and Return of Superman were highly entertaining, and Jurgens’ later Superman/Doomsday prestige mini-series made Doomsday a palatable character (or, at least, a character). An absolutely phenomenal track.
As for the other part of the post…I spent the weekend in Cleveland at a wedding. I actually quite liked the deindustrialized flats area of Cleveland, and the demise of the rust belt. Nothing compares to the brown Cuyahoga river, though. Even though R.E.M.’s 1986 rocker “Cuyahoga” alerted me to the fact that the river was now a souvenir, skimmed blood red by industrial capacity, I wasn’t quite compared for the grossness (grossosity?) of the Cleveland shoreline. It really made me appreciate the beauty of Lake Michigan, which does not catch on fire, and the bluish hue of the Chicago river, which only bubbles at one or two points within the city limits. Downstate though, is another story. No one ever said that having a river that runs backwards would play well in the sticks.
The second best part of the weekend-what can I say? I’m a sucker for weddings (or at least their open bars)-was the fact that the New York Yankees stayed at the same hotel that I did. All my Long Island relatives were starstruck beyond belief, and were constantly running into Mariano Rivera and Derek Jeter in elevators. I got to see Don Mattingly, who the New York media maintains beyond any semblance of reality should be in the Hall of Fame. I’m actually ok with this, as long as he goes in as a Seattle Mariner. I also got to see lots of aging baseball Annie’s, with horrible dye jobs and skanky clothes. Who ever knew that Cleveland was paradise?
